Full of Grace and Truth

The community group I attend has been studying Andy Stanley’s Christian. It has been a pretty decent study as we get to know one another. One of the topics Stanley addressed was truth, accompanied by grace. I’ve been thinking about it for weeks and I might have organized my thoughts enough to share!

 As John describes Jesus in the first chapter of his gospel book (v.14), he says, “Now the Word became flesh and took up residence among us. We saw his glory- the glory of the one and only, full of grace and truth…” Jesus often gets a bad rap; he’s too soft, meek, and mild. He’s too harsh, expects too much, and lacks compassion. No one seems to be satisfied. However, as we look at Christ’s example in how he delivered truth, it was never without grace. He carries grace and truth, equally and entirely, for all of us. When approached by the Pharisees with the woman caught in the act of adultery, her truth spread out in front of the whole town to see, Jesus offered her no condemnation. Jesus engaged with the Samaritan woman at the well. The fact that he even talked to her was an amazing gesture, then he offered her water that would quench her eternal thirst. He asked about her live-in boyfriend, revealing a hard truth in her life, yet she acknowledged the truth and embraced the gift that’d been offered. I think of Zaccheus and the amount of grace that brought a man like the Christ into a tax collector’s home. How Jesus must have challenged and convicted him with stinging truth, yet Zaccheus was willing to repent and right his many wrongs.

Truth telling without grace is accusatory. It’s a fault-finding, wound-gouging gesture that will almost always lead to conflict and little reconciliation. Truth with grace; it stings, but it leads to healing, growth and deeper relationships. “Truth speaking” is such a challenging thing, especially within the Christian community. The Bible is quite clear about acknowledging wrong doing within the church body. We are to bring light where dark things dwell. We are to help each other know when we have hurt one another, or even ourselves. We, the Church, often fail at offering compassion with those heart-wrenching revelations. Verse seventeen of the same chapter tells us that grace and truth come through Jesus. Those of us who know Christ have the same ability to offer our fellow believers truth accompanied by grace. How often we forget. We offer truth with judgment and satisfaction. We revel in the fact that our sin is somehow “less” than their sin. We can do better. We have to be wholly moved to feel for a person who may have wronged us. Only Jesus can move us in such a way.

Too much grace can be a bad thing as well. Misguided grace can disguise itself as ignorance of sin. It can masquerade as permission granting. Grace without truth is a Hello Kitty Band-Aid on a compound fracture. It’s acceptance without the expectation of change. Jesus expects change. He told the prostitute to sin no more. He forgave Peter’s denials, but he expected him to be the rock of the Church.

There’s a flip side to all of this. We Christians are also poor truth receivers. I think of the times that I offer Avery correction; it often leads to frustrated tears. She doesn’t cry because I’m mean, she cries because it stings to be told she can do better. It stings to know it’s true. When someone speaks a truth about us to us, it’s upsetting. It is painful because we agree; we’ve known this truth all along, we’ve just hoped no one else noticed. As adults, we often shift blame to the accuser. We don’t receive our truth with any grace for the truth revealer. Let me tell you something, if someone has taken the time to humbly confront you with a difficult revelation, they have been praying about it for a LONG time. They didn’t approach you flippantly. They have been losing sleep and asking God to have someone else do it. I guarantee it. I truly believe that if we Christians heard our own truths through gracious ears and hearts, we would offer truth more often. The Church would be more intimate and mature. Our relationships would show the world a view of Christ they haven’t seen in some time.

If truth is the exposure of wrong doing, then grace is the genuine offer of forgiveness. They are equal and full in Jesus. Can we drench our truths with grace and our graces with truth? It’s time we show the world the kind of love His people can offer one another.

Where in your life do you need to offer more grace with your truth? For me, it’s with my kids. I need to provide gracious correction. Maybe it’s the opposite for you! Maybe you need more truth with your grace!

Is there someone who offered you wisdom and you treated them poorly? Maybe you need to apologize or offer them gratitude? I know I often snap at my mother when she gently offers wisdom. That needs to be remedied.

One-On-One Time!

I've had so many things that I've wanted to post about lately! I've been overwhelmed by the need/desire to communicate, commiserate and encourage!

We started home schooling Avery last week and we hit our five day mark today. I'll post another time about why we chose this option of schooling for Avery, but after a few short days, I can already tell you that it was the right one for us!

Play-dough Sight Words!

Every other day was hard, and then the others were great! So, three bad days and two pretty darn good ones! We've had fun falling into calendar time and singing our morning songs. The kids are loving talking and crafting about the fruits of the spirit. I've been greatly encouraged by their love of all things God. I'm so blessed in that regard. Well, if I'm honest, Nate doesn't love all things God, he cries every Sunday when I tell him we're going to church. He loves it when he's there, but I swear you'd think the world was ending when he hears the word "church."

The real reason for this post is to share what I've learned over the past few weeks with my kids. When I spend purposeful one-on-one time with Nathan and Avery, they become different children. Sometimes school time is enough, sometimes it's not. It's like they need daily, morning affirmation of my love for them. Then the rest of the day is great! It has to be in the morning for us because it sets the tone for the day, but I'd imagine that your family could be different. This one-on-one time can occur with both kids concurrently, but I have to put my phone on vibrate and leave it in another room. I have be there, mentally engaged, interacting with them as we play, read, or create. It's definitely a challenge, but I can see the benefits of it almost instantly.

I think as our children grow older, as they become more capable, we're more willing to disengage. I've expected so much from Avery that I've almost forgotten her emotional needs. Sure, she plays great by herself, but that doesn't mean she should play by herself all the time! And this purposeful time has been awesome for Nathan too. He really loves being a part of community. That's why once he's in his class at church, he's totally fine. They each have their alone time with mom; Nate gets read to before nap and Avery and I spend 30 minutes doing whatever she wants while Nate naps. Then she has her own quiet time.

The more I think about it, I'm the same way. If I have one quality - this is the key - conversation with Mike every few days, my tank is full and my value meter is pegged. I'm also more likely do my wife/mom chores with the proper attitude! You may be thinking "every few days?" Yeah!, life happens. We don't connect in quality ways each day. Sometimes our conversations are purely logistical or strategy sessions for getting through the next few days. We have to be purposeful about engaging as friends, rather than parent or elder or leader or etc.

So! I encourage you to spend some purposeful time with your kiddos. We were having more than normal behavioral issues with Avery until we started doing this mid-summer. She's has changed dramatically! Also, I tend to be more productive throughout the day. They are more willing to play alone/with each other and not require my attention for longer periods of time. This allows me to clean the kitchen agian ...  and again ... and again. Anyone out there hear me on that one?!? I find myself more patient with them too. Everyone wins!

If you do this already, how has it benefited your kiddos?
If you don't, challenge yourself to try it for three days - thirty minutes each morning with zero distractions. I'd love to hear how it goes!