I have limited memories of some things in childhood, but one thing I do recall is dressing up as Punky Brewster for not one, but two Halloweens. Yep, I had those awesome Punky high tops and I could not resist her misplaced bandana. Then, suddenly, Halloween was ripped from me - forbidden.Okay, it wasn't quite that dramatic, but as a nine year old, it was pretty devastating. My parents and I had came to Jesus that year and we were converted under a pretty conservative denomination. Upon reflection, it was completely God's will because my parents had some life-changes to make and I think a strict environment was just what they needed. But, this meant no Halloween. Well, it meant "church halloween" where you get to dress up as a Bible character. This really sucks as a girl. You basically get to wear a robe with a rope belt and carry around a jug - or baby Jesus. There were many Queen Esthers because then you got to wear a crown. If you were truly rebellious, you could go for Queen Jezebel, but then your parents would be judged and whispered about until Easter.
Halloween was actually the first real heated discussion that Mike and I had. I remember this clearly. We were walking through Fry's, - on 22nd and Harrison - discussing whether our kids would be allowed to celebrate Halloween. We weren't even engaged yet! Mike was so surprised at the notion. Mike loved Halloween growing up. His mother is an amazing seamstress, so along with her mother, they would make Mike's costumes - Pac-Man, any Star Wars character you can imagine. They would load up in the car and drive house to house. I guess that's what you do when its cold and you live on a farm! His memories are really special to him.
As, you can tell from the previous post, I gave in. Avery gets so excited this time of year. She loves dressing up and seeing everyone else. When I put on Nate's costume to see if it fit, she cried when I took it off. She also truly enjoys handing out the candy. It was so fun for her. If Mike put candy in someone's bag without her help, she would get upset.
I am fully aware of the spiritual implications of this holiday. I did stay awake and do a lot of thinking about this. So many churches have Halloween alternatives, but I think those are just the same as celebrating the holiday. An alternative celebration doesn't fully negate the day. So, do we wait until the kids are older and let them make the choice on their own? In Avery's Methodist preschool class, they asked all the kids what their costumes were. It was a harmless conversation starter, but I was surprised because what if there was a child that didn't celebrate it? Would it devastate Avery not to be included? I don't know. I realize that as Christians we are called to be different from the world. I get it. I promise. For some reason, I struggle with this Halloween topic. I have no idea why I caved, other than I love that she loves it. It's great family fun.
So, I realize that this topic may be a week past due, but I was surprised when I realized who dressed up and who chose not to.
I'm curious, without judgement. Does your family celebrate Halloween? What is your reasoning, and if not, how do your children respond?
Hi Sherri, I love reading your blog :) Growing up, we lived on a dead-end road, so we just went to a couple neighbor's houses and then went to our church alternative, which was the cake walk and a bunch of carnival games where you could win candy. They always had a costume contest though, and my mom would hand-make my always-unique costumes so I'd often win something. As far as our kids, we're fine with it. We don't go overboard, just a bit of fall decorating on our porch, and we trick-or-treat with the kids in our huge neighborhood. They've never even asked to be anything scary, but they love getting candy! We actually tend to "host" Nate's extended family every year, so his sister's kids can trick-or-treat with ours (since they don't live in a development). We always hand out ~200 pieces of candy - it's busy around here! I think it's fairly harmless family fun.
ReplyDeleteThanks Z! Yeah, our neighborhood is similar. People drive in to t-or-t here. We also live on the edge of the main decorated "strip" so we see a lot of action. Thanks for sharing. I love hearing about others' experiences :-)
ReplyDeleteWe celebrate Halloween with Hadley but we never make it a big deal. I know we have our Halloween parties each year but when it comes to us dressing up or finding something for Hadley I don't think she even understands what it means to put on a costume. We've always just gone real cheap to fit the theme of our party. Growing up we celebrated it but we were never allowed to be anything dead, scary or "evil". I struggle with this too, probably not the same degree but I often wonder what God thinks of us dressing up and participating. Although I feel like it's the same concept as letting kids read Harry Potter or other controversial books, and reading along with them to use it as a learning opportunity. We can have fun dressing up and getting candy but to put an emphasis on the evil aspects of it seems worse. What about Santa Clause? Wouldn't that be similar? I know Santa Clause has a more positive history and involvement but it is still a distraction from what we should be celebrating at Christmas. I have to say the way these holidays were presented to me as a kid I never grew up thinking less of Jesus and what he wanted for our lives nor did I grow up thinking heavily about evil spirits and witches. I don't know if that makes it right and I hope we are raising Hadley in a way that will honor God while enjoying some fun and making memories.
ReplyDeleteSuch an interesting conversation, Sherri!
ReplyDeleteI grew up in a family that did not celebrate Halloween. No costumes. No candy. No trick-or-treating. It was just another day of the year. Sometimes we handed out candy; sometimes we turned out our light. My parents believed that it was best not to be a part of a day that glorified evil.
In late elementary school, we were allowed to attend a few church "Harvest Festivals." [My dad said "yes" to our pleas, somewhat begrudgingly.]
Looking back, I don't feel like I missed out on anything by not celebrating Halloween.
I'm not a fan of the holiday now. Many of the houses that are decorated are creepy and downright horrifying. Same goes for the costumes - ax murderers, bloody brides, vampires, etc. Also - Not to be a humbug, but I don't like to buy and/or receive all of that cheap, high-sugar, low-quality candy.
AND YET - for the past 3 years, our girls put on costumes and we hand out candy in our neighborhood. We trick-or-treat down one or two streets. The girls love to dress-up and we enjoy spending the evening with our neighbors.
We struggle with what to do every year. We could turn out our lights and stay in (but we're friends with our neighbors and it would seem strange...). We could go to a church festival (but I really don't see a difference between that and trick-or-treating). For now, we participate.
I hope we can institute a fun tradition of our own in the coming years. Now I just have to figure out what it might be... ;)