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Wednesday, August 14, 2013

One-On-One Time!

I've had so many things that I've wanted to post about lately! I've been overwhelmed by the need/desire to communicate, commiserate and encourage!

We started home schooling Avery last week and we hit our five day mark today. I'll post another time about why we chose this option of schooling for Avery, but after a few short days, I can already tell you that it was the right one for us!
Play-dough Sight Words!

Every other day was hard, and then the others were great! So, three bad days and two pretty darn good ones! We've had fun falling into calendar time and singing our morning songs. The kids are loving talking and crafting about the fruits of the spirit. I've been greatly encouraged by their love of all things God. I'm so blessed in that regard. Well, if I'm honest, Nate doesn't love all things God, he cries every Sunday when I tell him we're going to church. He loves it when he's there, but I swear you'd think the world was ending when he hears the word "church."

The real reason for this post is to share what I've learned over the past few weeks with my kids. When I spend purposeful one-on-one time with Nathan and Avery, they become different children. Sometimes school time is enough, sometimes it's not. It's like they need daily, morning affirmation of my love for them. Then the rest of the day is great! It has to be in the morning for us because it sets the tone for the day, but I'd imagine that your family could be different. This one-on-one time can occur with both kids concurrently, but I have to put my phone on vibrate and leave it in another room. I have be there, mentally engaged, interacting with them as we play, read, or create. It's definitely a challenge, but I can see the benefits of it almost instantly.

I think as our children grow older, as they become more capable, we're more willing to disengage. I've expected so much from Avery that I've almost forgotten her emotional needs. Sure, she plays great by herself, but that doesn't mean she should play by herself all the time! And this purposeful time has been awesome for Nathan too. He really loves being a part of community. That's why once he's in his class at church, he's totally fine. They each have their alone time with mom; Nate gets read to before nap and Avery and I spend 30 minutes doing whatever she wants while Nate naps. Then she has her own quiet time.

The more I think about it, I'm the same way. If I have one quality - this is the key - conversation with Mike every few days, my tank is full and my value meter is pegged. I'm also more likely do my wife/mom chores with the proper attitude! You may be thinking "every few days?" Yeah!, life happens. We don't connect in quality ways each day. Sometimes our conversations are purely logistical or strategy sessions for getting through the next few days. We have to be purposeful about engaging as friends, rather than parent or elder or leader or etc.

So! I encourage you to spend some purposeful time with your kiddos. We were having more than normal behavioral issues with Avery until we started doing this mid-summer. She's has changed dramatically! Also, I tend to be more productive throughout the day. They are more willing to play alone/with each other and not require my attention for longer periods of time. This allows me to clean the kitchen agian ...  and again ... and again. Anyone out there hear me on that one?!? I find myself more patient with them too. Everyone wins!

If you do this already, how has it benefited your kiddos?
If you don't, challenge yourself to try it for three days - thirty minutes each morning with zero distractions. I'd love to hear how it goes!


Wednesday, July 3, 2013

5 Years old!

My Dearest Avery,

How has it been FIVE years since you've been born?!? You have changed Dad's and my life in such amazing ways! We are so grateful that God gave you to us :-)

One thing that I'm the most amazed about you is your willingness to try new things. You are always appropriately cautious, but too intrigued not to try. While you may require some assistance, you overcome your worries and give it a go. This willingness has made you a great swimmer, diving to the bottom of the pool and swimming the length of the pool while Mom pretends not to worry. You've proudly climbed to the top of the highest playground structures. You braved your way through six stitches. You want to go camping and ride horses and I can't wait to see what new things you want to try next!

You are an advocate. I cannot decide if it's due to compassion or a need for fairness, but you speak up for others often. You make sure big kids are treating little kids nicely. You stick up for your brother when he can't defend himself. You make sure adults know when other kids are sad or need help. You speak confidently in these situations and I'm always beyond impressed.

You love your brother and dad very much. You love being with Nathan so when he wants to play alone, your feelings get hurt. You cry and worry when he's injured or sick. If we buy something for you in the store, you insist on buying one for Nathan too. Dad is a special person in your life. When he goes out of town, you cry and tell me everyday, about a hundred times, how much you miss him. You remember everything he tells you about the desert, animals, bugs, insects, etc. You're always teaching me new things because dad teaches you so much!

Finally, you have a love for Jesus that is beyond pure. You continue to amaze your father and me with your prayers and genuine interest in His story. You talk to Him like you really know Him. I cannot wait to see how your love for Him manifests into a life purpose. I'm sure He has amazing things in store for you.


Avery, you have taught me so much about God's love. You've caused me to grow in ways that only a daughter can :-) I can't wait to see what this next year brings us!

Much love,

Mom <3