I Want It Purkt-fit . . .

Our creation. Sun, stem & leaves courtesy of Avery.

Avery and I were doing some alphabet games on the iPad and her reward for playing such games is to be able to use the doodle app. Well, she wanted me to draw a horse and I told her that if I drew one, that she would have to draw one next. Tears. Streaming. Uncontrollably. "But mom, I can't."

What the heck. My child is an emotional wreck. This is a thought I have daily. I finally calmed her down and told her that her drawing does not have to be the best. She just needs to practice and practice and she'll learn to get better. "But mom," she said. "I want it to be purkt-fit."

Perfect. Crap. God gave me one of those people. Someone just like myself, just like Mike. One who places ridiculous expectations upon oneself. These people excel in school and measurable things. They also have self-induced ulcers. This was a key moment in understanding my daughter. In hindsight, it should have been obvious.

We've been trying to figure out why Avery has been disinterested in learning letters. When I'd ask her to sit with me or have a conversation about a letter, she'd rush off or tell me that she couldn't. Every letter was an "R" or and "A," sigh. I was pretty frustrated. Some told me that she's still young, others tried to hide their judgment when I confessed she had little interest.  Then I found myself face to face with my bookwormy friend Jessica's adorable 20-month-old. She was picking up blocks and identifying the letters that adorned their sides. I calmed my inner breakdown and found some genuine joy for my friend's genius toddler and reserved my mourning for a later time. (Love you Jess, E is amazing!)

So, I lay awake at night worrying with God if my daughter will be dyslexic or if we'll have to turn every letter into an animal. Praying that He will make me a mom that is ok with a C student if that's her best. Wondering how we'll manage if Nathan is an academic and Avery is not and making them both understand that their equally loved and valued.  Anyone else have ridiculous what if thoughts like I do? Meanwhile, God was orchestrating the horse drawing incident. It occurred the next day. The glorious epiphany.

I've since changed my approach to learning letters and numbers. She is immersed in them without knowing it. We have conversations about them. She's begun to have the confidence to identify them on signs, shirts and food cartons. We do an iPad alphabet or number game daily. I don't pressure her like before and I encourage her greatly when she's successful.

I think school has brought this need for perfection to the surface. She has 12 other peers to whom she can compare herself. She can see their "success" and compare her work. It was bound to happen, I just wish it was when she was a bit more reasonable.

I had a mid-year conference with her preschool teacher and revealed this new information to her. I'm so grateful for her 20 year experience. She nodded in realization. She showed me a self portrait Avery drew in July and one that she drew in January. The July portrait looked like a person, the January portrait looked like a blob of lines. I absolutely know that she thought she couldn't do it well, so she just didn't even try.

I can relate. There are a few things I didn't attempt in life because of fear of failure - playing college volleyball being at the top of the list. Now, how to teach her to cope with expectations of herself . . . so that she might have the fear, but still take the action.

Are there personality traits of yours that have surfaced in your kids? How have they manifested within their personality?

Bamboo ... Toy or Weapon?

Laugh in the Face of Trials? I'll try.

These past handful of days have been overwhelmingly exhausting. Avery's been sick and tired and whiney and irritable. Nathan was good for the first few days, but has since resorted to demanding an unreasonable amount of attention - mostly at 2, 3 and 4 am.

All this to say that I found some encouragement this afternoon. After reading James 1:2-3, a passage I've read many times,

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.

Sometimes I think that my trials are silly. Trying to survive this mom thing - as well as other personal things - seem trivial compared to people dealing with financial trouble, sicknesses and loved ones passing. But the fears, worries and concerns that keep me awake are mine - and they are very real.

Beth Moore stated this in her James study:

Trials don't get to steal from the followers of Christ unless we hand over the goods. In fact, they're commanded to give goods to us if we're willing to receive them. 

James 1:4 finishes the thought with this:

 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

If I'm willing to change my perspective and stop being a victim in my own head, then trials only perfect the result that God has intended, not only for my life, but my own children's lives.

Are you willing to receive the perfect result that God has intended for you? Can you transition your train of thought to joy instead of frustration? I'm sure as hell gonna try because the result will directly impact my kids' future - I hope!

What sorts of trials are ailing you lately? What are the potentially perfect results of your endurance?

Jesus? A Toddler?

In the late 90's and early 2000's, there was a movie titled The Visual Bible: The Gospel According to Matthew. I hated it. I thought that the depiction of Jesus was ridiculous. My friends and I referred to him as the "happy Jesus." The church I attended would often use video clips of the movie and my mature - ahem - friends and I could hardly stifle our giggles. We felt that the actor, Bruce Marchiano (who is apparently named for a cherry), had a silly interpretation of Jesus. He would laughingly share parables, tousle the disciples hair and be passive during what many would consider a serious passage.

Ten+ years down the road, while I still don't care for the interpretation, I've gained some perspective. The Cherry had only been a Christian for five years when he gave that performance. He was a baby! He read in the first chapter of Hebrews about being "anointed with joy" and he ran with it. Far. Across the universe. Then back again. That was one joyful, happy Jesus.

There's so much about Jesus' person that is left to the imagination. What did Jesus and his boyz talk about at night around the campfires? Did he laugh when Peter passed gas? Or, perhaps, roll his eyes? Did he have to suggest bathing to the more smelly of them? Did he sleep on his back, side or stomach?

I've been considering these things, as well as the happy Jesus movie, as I've started a new Bible study about James. Upon studying the background of James, the study's author led us to his background . . . growing up with Jesus. That, in turn, has led me to more questions specifically about Jesus' childhood. Were he and James besties? Did he get flustered when his sisters hid his belongings? Did he elbow James when he started to snore? Did they stay up all night talking and giggling?

Or what about when he was Avery's age? Did he play quietly by himself or did he have to sit right at Mary's feet while she tended to her duties? Did he like to be held as Joseph told him stories? Did he put his sandals on the wrong feet? Did he laughingly stick his tongue out at the baker when his mom traded for flour? Did he get in Joseph's way as he made tables and chairs? Or maybe he preferred to build things in the sawdust as his dad worked. Did he have to help look after James? Sing him songs as he drifted off to sleep?

Or what about Nathan's age? Did he sleep thought the night instantly? Did he prefer his back or his belly? Did he prefer to be held when he was teething? Did he have a favorite possession that he took everywhere? Was he greatly amused as he poked Mary with sticks while she prepared dinner?

I know that Jesus was perfect, but he was also human. I think so often we imagine perfect as obediently boring. We forget he had a hand in creating our emotions, reactions and thoughts. I'm certain he was funny. I'm certain he teased his little sisters in love. I'm certain he picked up after his - at least six - brothers and sisters and did not enjoy it.

I like to think about these things because I it rounds out the man for me. While his last three years were the most significant of his life, he still had an upbringing. He had a family. I'm sure he mourned lost siblings, certainly his father. He learned a trade. Provided for his mother, brothers and sisters. He had thirty years before his "ministry" began. Perhaps I can relate to him far more than I ever considered.

What sorts of things do you wonder about Jesus' humanness? 

Baking with Abuela

Drill Doctor Video for Mike's Dad

It took us 4 minutes to film this video and 3 hours to figure out how to get it to him since the file was so large.

Here you go Randy! Hope it helps you out!

<3 your most favorite daughter-in-law,
Sherri

Christmas in PA

We had a wonderful, quality visit with Mike's parents in Douglassville, PA. They live on a beautiful piece of property in a house that Mike's dad built . . . that backs to a creek . . . with a barn that Mike and his dad also built . . . with a sugar house for syrup making . . . with two horses (Tetly and Snickers)  . . . with access to many farm vehicles . . . complete with many cats to torture (some indoor & some barn).

Needless to say, we had a great time. Nate would wake in the morning, bundle up and go straight to the barn to tend to the horses with Mike's parents - Nan & Randy. They would then cruise around in the golf cart while Nate pointed and grunted, dictating the next destination. We spent most days hanging out, playing inside and out - enjoying the visit! Avery also got her nails done. She acted like such a little adult. She was trying to make conversation with Candy, the nail tech. She asked Candy if she had a house. So sweet!

We got to cut down our own Christmas tree which was pretty awesome. It was a cold and drizzly day, perfect wintery weather. We decorated the tree with a tenth of the ornaments that Nan has collected over the years. She has so many, most hand made!! We made cookies, built a gingerbread house that proceded to fall apart 5 minutes later and ate until our bellies could hold no more.

Mike's parents received an iMac for Christmas, so we helped them set it up, transfer files and gave them tutorials on each the essential Mac apps. It was pretty fun playing with a new computer and experiencing the Mac world through "virgin" eyes. Now we can FaceTime with them on a larger scale!

We attended the family service at their church. It was lovely and mostly child/family led. There were tons of families there, many who had never been to church before. It was such a neat experience. Avery was enamored by the girls dressed as angels and Nate had a giggle fit while reading a touch and feel book that contained sand paper. Christmas day was laid back and full of presents! Nan goes above and beyond, finding meaningful and fun gifts for all of us. Even our stockings are filled to the rim. We went to visit the neighbor's alpaca's, Avery swung on a tire swing and Nathan tortured a barn cat. All in all, it was lovely.

No trip would be complete with out a shopping trip . . . to the outlets . . . at an outdoor mall . . . the day after Christmas. Okay, we were crazy, but Nan and I had cabin fever so we loaded up the kids and off we went. Nate had a great time, but it was torturous for Avery as she has decided that she hates the cold. We waited for 15 minutes in line at Starbucks so that she could get a hot chocolate. I bribed her to behave. No shame there. She continues to come out of her shell. She chatted with the teenage girls behind us, asking about their drink of choice.

We had the chance to visit some of Mike's college friends, Nate and Zabrina, and their kids. We had a humorous, quality visit and their kids were amazing with Avery. It makes me sad when you spend time with people who are so compatible with you and your family, only to have to retreat to your far sides of life. Thank goodness for social networking :-)

The kids were good natured on our travel days. We got booted from our return flight and ended up spending 12 hrs in the PHL airport. The kids were amazing and Nate exceded his car seat tolerance when we were only 5 minutes from home. Can't ask for much more than that. Thank your for all your prayers!

Randy has all the good Christmas day pictures, but hopefully you'll enjoy the ones I have.

How was your Christmas? What was your favorite thing that happened over the holiday?